It’s a New Day

Everything is cyclical. Today is the start of fall. It is a new day. It is the gentle rebirthing for me of my art studio Bohemian Art Cafe. I don’t have a “real” art studio anymore. Most of my art supplies are in storage. I have a rolling cart with art journaling supplies, a tool box of fine metal jewelry supplies, another toolbox with my watercolor painting kit, and a box with my calligraphy and illumination supplies.

Can it be enough? After having ten years of tremendous art studio space and more supplies than I probably could have used in my lifetime, I have found myself recently questioning why I have so much stuff and how much simpler life could be if I selected some new, easier to access and far more portable and small hobbies. Glass is heavy. It takes up a lot of space. It does not move easily or well, often ending in broken pieces and it is expensive. Am I an art supply and book hoarder? I fear that I may be. 

We moved again...four months ago and I’ve virtually done no art. That bone dry creative abyss has still been very much alive and well.

But just recently, this past month or so, I’ve felt the budding seed of the artful urge. That creative driving need to express myself has begun to peep out. I don’t really know how it is going to play out, but I needed the healing of my soul and spirit from what was a couple of somewhat brutal life events. Let me repeat that. I needed the time to heal my soul and my spirit. Had I had the place to do it, I probably could have used painting as my therapy, but it felt like there was nowhere to do this. I realize now that probably isn’t true. It’s just an excuse and an avoidance technique.

We cleaned out a storage unit this past weekend and we took a trailer full of stuff to a thrift store. I still could take 4 to 5 more trailers of stuff...but I’m forced by distance and time constraints to let it sit. In my head, a list is stewing, slowly formulating into another list of stuff to let go. I have a good 10 boxes of art supplies I’ll eventually be posting on my Etsy store, Ephemera Bistro.

But, in the meantime, this tickling urge has led me to sign up for two fine silver jewelry crafting classes and a torch fired enameling class. When I take them, I vow that my intent is to 1. Thoroughly enjoy the class and process, 2. Take my time to practice and really create something beautiful, and 3. That I will not bastardize my healing and process by trying to go into production mode and create a bunch of mediocre pieces. In fact, I don’t know that I EVER want to go into production mode again, unless it is to create large scale public artworks. So hello fall...it’s a time for harvest.

(c) 2019 SZing.All Rights Reserved. Photographs courtesy of Pixabay.

Creative Abyss

After ten years of trying to make a living as an artist and teacher, I experienced a little burn out. I had mass produced quite a lot of jewelry.  I had painted and created and had a stash of artwork to sell. All of my friends and family had pieces I'd made and I had some success at selling my artworks with a great deal of sweat, energy and effort. 

I hit a wall. I had no creative energy. I had no new creative ideas. Working on creative art projects felt like walking through concrete. 

I decided to focus on teaching art and working on visual art journaling. I went to craft shows and found myself worn out from the process of trying to sell some of my inventory. I didn't know how to make what I created of interest to the people who were seeing it. I knew that I couldn't keep making artwork that sold for small amounts when the process and materials took so much time.

In the middle of all of this, we moved.  I had a lovely, large space to use as an art studio and was able to get most of my supplies set up.  But I felt overwhelmed with supplies. And yet I couldn't figure out how to let go of supplies that I might need.  

I took another painting experience retreat weekend in Orlando. It was good and opened up my soul. For the weekend. Then. I came home and I couldn't create the space or the energy to continue process painting. I wanted to. My soul yearned to paint. I was in a creative abyss.

I tried to take classes from some very cool artists who I admire. I couldn't get through the first couple of days worth of a year long course. 

I am slowly pulling myself from this abyss. I have a full time job doing something that has nothing to do with art.  I still have my art studio, stuffed full of supplies--many of which I don't think I will ever use again so I'm building up my courage to let them go.  And then...and then...I'm going to try to to pull myself up just a bit more so that I can feed my creative soul in a way that I need so very much.  

In the other areas of my life, I have been doing pretty well.  I've got a good job. I have been losing weight and working out at the gym to get healthier and I have a good relationship with a man who is kind and loving. My life is good and I'm ready to let my creativity become reborn in a gentle, natural way in its own time. 

(c) 2018 SZing.All Rights Reserved. Photographs courtesy of Pixabay.