Creative Abyss

After ten years of trying to make a living as an artist and teacher, I experienced a little burn out. I had mass produced quite a lot of jewelry.  I had painted and created and had a stash of artwork to sell. All of my friends and family had pieces I'd made and I had some success at selling my artworks with a great deal of sweat, energy and effort. 

I hit a wall. I had no creative energy. I had no new creative ideas. Working on creative art projects felt like walking through concrete. 

I decided to focus on teaching art and working on visual art journaling. I went to craft shows and found myself worn out from the process of trying to sell some of my inventory. I didn't know how to make what I created of interest to the people who were seeing it. I knew that I couldn't keep making artwork that sold for small amounts when the process and materials took so much time.

In the middle of all of this, we moved.  I had a lovely, large space to use as an art studio and was able to get most of my supplies set up.  But I felt overwhelmed with supplies. And yet I couldn't figure out how to let go of supplies that I might need.  

I took another painting experience retreat weekend in Orlando. It was good and opened up my soul. For the weekend. Then. I came home and I couldn't create the space or the energy to continue process painting. I wanted to. My soul yearned to paint. I was in a creative abyss.

I tried to take classes from some very cool artists who I admire. I couldn't get through the first couple of days worth of a year long course. 

I am slowly pulling myself from this abyss. I have a full time job doing something that has nothing to do with art.  I still have my art studio, stuffed full of supplies--many of which I don't think I will ever use again so I'm building up my courage to let them go.  And then...and then...I'm going to try to to pull myself up just a bit more so that I can feed my creative soul in a way that I need so very much.  

In the other areas of my life, I have been doing pretty well.  I've got a good job. I have been losing weight and working out at the gym to get healthier and I have a good relationship with a man who is kind and loving. My life is good and I'm ready to let my creativity become reborn in a gentle, natural way in its own time. 

(c) 2018 SZing.All Rights Reserved. Photographs courtesy of Pixabay.