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...feed your soul with art & creativity!

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Look to the Past

Here is an irony.

I plan to blog about the past...today.

Living the Source, (c) SZing 2013. All rights reserved. Tempera on Bristol.
My first sentence started with Now.  I erased it.  On my second time, I wrote, Most of the time....I deleted that too.

Clearly, that linear device we humans use called time is the subject of my blog.  It's just taking me a little bit of effort to get around to it.  Particularly when I quite frequently strive to live in the now, at this moment. Now.

However, we do use this construct called time to help us make sense of our world--or at least one semblance of sense.  And most of the time, I would recommend and note that the past is gone and there is nothing that we can do to alter it or make it different so our efforts are best spent on the Now.

Except when...we can change the past.  Except when we can make that quantum leap to correct an error and change the way things work out.


Use tools.  Here is a delightful one.

Here is an example.  For years (see? more time) I did not think I was artistic.  Then in my mid thirties (another recognition of the passing of time), I decided that I was going to be an artist and I immediately began calling myself an artist.  At first (an order of time), that felt weird and a little false, particularly since as a child my artwork was really not inspired--although it was quite genuine.  I know, because I have proof left over in the form of a file my parents saved of different art projects I completed through various grades.

Yet I now definitely know myself to not only be an artist (and a prolific one if that, even if I am not yet popularly selling in large quantities or large sums) and a writer.  And it is hard for me to remember a time when I did not enjoy creative endeavors.  Some of my favorite childhood projects were making new Barbie clothes from scratch, practicing my interior decorating skills by making my own homemade Barbie homes, complete with carpets, paintings on the walls, and windows with curtains.  I enjoyed our Camp Fire Girls (sorry guys--you hadn't been accepted into this club yet) projects each week, even though there is some minor proof in the form of photographs that my artwork was less than stellar work.

We must look to the past to find our limitations.  The other day as I sat listening to a friend of mine talk about an unlimited universe and unlimited opportunities, I realized, "why, that's true!"  I am unlimited.  The biggest limitation I have that keeps me playing small is from the beliefs and indoctrination I have incorporated into my life as I have grown and some of those were beliefs of "not being good enough," of "who do you think you are?" and of "your sister is the one who is artistic, not you."  I can choose now to look to the past, see those beliefs and decide deliberately whether or not I want to continue to let them operate in my life and keep me playing small.

I choose to live life large.  So now comes the exciting and fun game changer where I think only thoughts of my unlimited potential, tell myself daily hundreds of times what an excellent artist I am, write myself love letters to tell myself about all the fabulous qualities that I embody and as with the beliefs that have kept me hiding from the very largeness of life and the opulent abundance of the world, I will be able to change my future, now.  I believe that this works because I have seen it do so.  The trick, of course, is to believe.

If you're having trouble following this, there is a VERY quick reading book by Richard Bach that was written in the mid 70s I think called "Jonathan Livingston Seagull."  Pay especial attention to Jonathan's teacher Chiang and the brilliant words he shares.

Now, I am ready to get back to the now. Now.

“Overcome space, and all we have left is Here. Overcome time, and all we have left is Now.” 
― Richard BachJonathan Livingston Seagull